DIVORCE & FAMILY PRACTICE

Clients often remark, with resignation, that it’s so easy getting married but so difficult to get a divorce. Whilst that may be true in some cases, most cases need not be so. At Crossbows, we try very hard to minimise acrimony and help you to work out a sensible and practical arrangement with your soon to be ex-spouse.

After all, divorce in itself is a heartbreaking, heart wrenching, gut-wrenching, highly emotional and stressful event. Why would anyone make an already difficult situation even harder? And it gets worse if there are children involved. They are always the silent observers and victims of the ongoing tussle between their parents. There is really no reason for this to happen.

Empowering our clients to work towards a settlement is our first line of approach with any divorce situation. Litigation is the last resort, a route to take when all other avenues and options have been thoroughly explored and there is absolutely no choice but to do so. The great General Sun Tzu, a military strategist, thinker, writer and philosopher said,  “He will win who knows when to fight and when not to fight”. This is so profound and still so relevant and applicable even today.

There are really no winners or losers in any divorce and proving the same in court, will not only cost a tidy fortune, but it would prove to be a futile exercise as the Courts do not view divorcing parties in such terms. You can achieve an eminently fair and workable settlement through moderated negotiations. Taking this path will not only give you and your spouse, assuming he/she is likeminded, power to work out your own settlement, it will also save you considerable time, frustration, emotional distress and of course, money.

And, if you have children and you are seeking access or your spouse is, and if you both have joint custody of the children, which is usually the case, then consider this: you and your ex-spouse will continue to work together for the sake of the children until they turn 21 years old. This is unavoidable. This working relationship that you will have to foster with your ex-spouse can be cordial and a mutually respectful one or it can be a bitter, confrontational one. You and your spouse can choose what it will be and we hope that it will be one of fostering a mutually respectful relationship.

It also needs to be noted that the Court too encourages parties to resolve their disputes amicably and in any case where there is at least one child who is under the age of 21 years, the Court convenes mandatory counselling and mediation session/s at the Child Focused Resolution Centre, during which time, the Court, through its Judge-Mediators and Family Counsellors and with the assistance of the parties’ respective lawyers, tries to assist parties in resolving the divorce amicably.

This for us is the road map, for a typical divorce:

• If there is any hope of reconciliation, waste no time in exploring this. Do whatever it takes to heal the rift; get professional help in the form of marriage counsellors/therapists if necessary and work at it. Reconciliation must always be the first option if this is a possibility. This becomes imperative of course when children are involved.
• If there is truly no hope at all and the marriage is absolutely unsalvageable, then, the only solution would be to bring it to an end. How it ends is important. Re-read our thoughts on this above. You and your spouse have the choice to have your divorce end badly or nicely. If the right circumstances exist for an amicable settlement, go for it.

Our family and divorce lawyers, Gulab Sobhraj, Michael Low and Daisy Tay are passionate about what they do.

If a listening ear and sensible practical advice is what you are seeking, call us at 6532 9980, schedule an appointment with one of our family and divorce lawyers and let us work with you and empower you.

Crossbows LLP